"the grilled salmon salad... does iiiiiit have salmon?". Seriously, real question.

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We have a dessert on our menu that contains snicker bars mixed into ice cream and a woman wanted to get the dessert for here son who was allergic to peanuts and asked the server if she could take the peanuts out for her.  

At a BBQ restaurant:  "What is the difference between the beef and the pork?"

Hi there!! Let me tell you that, here in Portugal, if someone comes along with this kind of questions, we, as good and hospitable portuguese waiters and waitresses, we really don´t loose a chance to give the proper answer, LOL, which can diversify from the slightly sarcastic-- it depends, sir/madam; which one you don´t like to ear to hee-haw(to bray)?--if we are in a bit of stress---basically none, sir/madam, they´re both dead meat and they come in a plate------not good ideia to make this kind of questions to a very, very, really very busy waiter at meals time, LOL----have you tryed to watch national geographic channel sir/madam?? you wouldn´t believe of the wild life they talk about, an amazing world of cows, pigs and donkeys!!....ehehee Welcome to Lisbon, my people :-)

                                                                                                                                                     Polly

15 years ago I was working at an upscale casual restaurant near an exclusive neighborhood. A group of 6 housewives in their 40s wearing cute tennis outfits sit down in my section. One lady ordered a glass of Zinfandel. Our list had 6 Red Zins and 1 White Zin. I thought to double check and in the most indignant voice I had ever heard she relied, "Excuse me son, Zinfandel is neither a white or a red, it is a rose." I stood their a bit in shock as my brain flooded with responses that would rip this lady to shreds. In the end, I just looked at her and said, "I'm sorry, I'm still kind of new to this."

15 years later, I carry myself a bit differently, my hair is grey, I work at a high end steakhouse/jazz club, and I am now the "old guy server." A few months ago a lady ordered a glass of Zinfandel. My radar for the guests I need to clarify this point with is highly accurate. I double checked and asked if she wanted the red or the white. She said she didn't know. I described both and she knew she wanted the white. I served the table their drinks and turned to set down some other drinks at another table. I hear her yell "sir" at me. I apologize to the table I was at and turned to give her a stern, "yes ma'am. She indignantly leans towards her glass of White Zinfandel and says indignantly, "I ordered the WHITE zinfandel." In a moment of perfect irony that I will never see again I replied, "I'm sorry maam, the white zinfandel is neither a white or a red, it is a rose."

Hi there; here, Lisbon, we would say, with the most bright and innocent smile---no,sorry, we just say that the salad has salmon because it looks nicer at the menu!!! LOL Cheers, people

                                                                                                                   Polly

Happened on a cruise ship"where do you guyz sleep at night?"

Can I have some sweet Cabernet Sauvignon ???

Its going well with oysters .....

:)))))))

Here's a gem I heard from a customer last week. "Is your tuna tartar served rare?" - - No. The chef actually recommends serving it medium well.

Joey Rockenstein
www.thebitterbistro.com

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